Botona Trip

Avy is worried.

I am deeply troubled by the sudden hospitalization of my Aunt.
It just seems so ironic that she'd be confined in the same hospital that she's been working for most of her life.
She had too many strokes. Which even the doctors themselves are still trying to figure out what caused the attacks.

Just recently, she's having another attack. I am left, yet again to watch over the house while they all went to the hospital.
Earlier today, I got to visit her. It was at that time that I got to see her awake. She's been in the ICU for quite some time now.
As I stepped into her room, seeing me she raised her hand a bit. With the rosary still in her hand, she wanted me to hold her hand.
Honestly, I'm not that very close to my family. But the responsibilities I am supposed to take on in this family, I am filling in.
I'm not nagging about having to come home early from work just so I can house sit. I've had to set work-related activities aside to attend to this situation.
Something people at work don't seem to understand. Of course, I'm not one to explain something more than once to different people.
So it's better for them to be disappointed at me rather than having to apologize and explain over and over what has been happening.

Back to my visit, I was of course very moved. I held her hand. I had this strange feeling. I wanted to cry but I held back my tears, afraid that it might affect her or let her know that I'm scared.
I am, in fact scared. This is all too sudden. To think she is the head of the Infection Control Committee. I am worried that her only son might not emotionally make it through. He's still too young and too pampered by his mother.
Of her husband who' still trying to fit in the family even though he's been living with us (btw, we live in the same house) ever since they got married with my aunt.

I do hope and pray that God will watch over her and keep her safe. She has still so much to do here on Earth that I pray to God for mercy and for recovery.

We all need her. I need her. Without her, there will always be a void. A sense of emptiness in the family. Something even the dogs have perhaps felt too with the way they're acting.
She makes us feel complete.

May God have pity on us and bring her safely back to us.

Thought of the day

I have been feeling a bit under the weather lately. Not emotionally, but physically.
I've been diagnosed with benign positional vertigo. Something that I've ignored most of the time.
This would explain why I couldn't turn my head sideways whenever I walk.
It was a good thing that I got to ask a doctor of related profession what I've been going through for quite some time.

So comes in costly medicines that I have to take on a daily basis. But the odd thing about it is that it somehow makes me more nauseous.
Please cross out the idea of me being a mom, that's totally out of the question here.

Our company physician has recommended that I take 4 days off from work, add to that my scheduled 2 days off.
So that would mean I'd be stuck at home for 6 days. I must admit that this will take the load off my back, having to work 5-6 days a week talking to people with most of them having comprehension disabilities.
But the fact that I'd be disappointing my team captain about my condition, about not helping our team stats at all.
I am quite aware of my performance and I want to make it to the point of maintaining an excellent performance-based grade.
But how can I be effective if I can't hear that well? If I feel nauseous everytime.
I have set a goal that seems to be within reach now, but with my health condition, it might be a big obstacle I would have to either endure or sink in to.

It's just that, instead of having to worry about nothing else for a week. I'd be stuck staring at the ceiling or at a corner thinking about how disappointing my stat is. And of how I feel I've disappointed my team captain.
Makes me feel guilty of being sick.

It just doesn't feel right.

Oh what to do.