Sunday, December 28, 2008

Update

So much has happened.
I've gotten slimmer, or should I say fit.
Got too caught up with our holiday party and a relationship that's becoming too overwhelming.

Christmas has passed, wasn't able to enjoy it since I got sick.
The great thing about Christmas though is my heart didn't feel empty as how it did last year.

Yes, I've found the one and AM WITH the one who makes me feel complete. Fills the emptiness I've been dealing with lately.
She makes me happy. One thing I've been trying to avoid here is talking too much about my relationship with her that it might end up with bad results after I post them.
Because that's what usually happens. I talk about something and the opposite happens. Whether good or bad.

But I know I'm happy.

I just don't want people at work to know about us yet. It will cause a buzz around the office. Which I don't really like. And it's not that I'm ashamed or something, but if people will ask then that's when I'll give a straight answer.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Strawberry Parfait


The title is tempting, isn't it? My favorite dessert. Makes me smile too.
I've always tried to avoid saying something at a certain point that will have me regret and experience the opposite sooner.
I've never been that expressive with feelings or anything that relates to being all sentimental and acting too sweet.
Then came this person who is my exact opposite (except for the gender).
Too sweet, too sensitive and too much great of a friend. Never in my entire 20 years have I met or even had a friend like her.
She's a gem.
This is my only way of letting the world know of how appreciative I am for knowing someone like her.
Even though people at work kind of talks about us being too close, I don't care because there is definitely nothing beyond that closeness.
I've found someone whom I can confide in and talk about things I've never managed to tell other people.
Although trusting her with everything about me will be a little difficult since I have trust issues.
You break it and it will never be fixed.

Things have been pretty hectic at work.
I'm still caught up with our badminton and volleyball tournament as well as our dance production for the Christmas Party.
Tomorrow (Monday), we'll start working on Step Up 2 production. Getting a bit excited about it because our choreographer seems to know his stuff.
Our Step Up 1 production's not that bad so hopefully the  Step Up 2 part will be better :)

Til next update.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A good thing or a bad thing

A decision has been made making Obama the new president of the United States of America. This would definitely be a history in the making. To think that an African-American senator had been elected to be the head chief of a powerful country. Now as I've mentioned way back before, I'm not really into politics, not that I'm not interested but because it just gets me all hyper and stuff just talking about it.

The only thing that caught my attention was the fact that part of Obama's platform was to discontinue outsourcing from different countries. Making sure that an american family is assured of a job anywhere in the US. Of course it's not a bad thing, this is his way of getting through the people of America, but see the thing is this kind of business has been growing and expanding all over, specially here in the Philippines. The thing is, if he's going to stop outsourcing what'll happen to us here in the Philippines who mostly rely on getting a job as a call center agent because the pay's much better than regular day job in the government (if you're not corrupt, of course). What will happen to the people who had hopes of getting promoted to a better position, who had worked hard *cough cough* to get to where they are now. What a sad thing.

Tomorrow's my birthday. I'm going to be 21. Happy birthday to me.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Upcoming Movies






Yeah, upcoming movies to be rated. I will be watching the following movies tomorrow with a friend from work. Will be rating and reviewing them after. :)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Pain in the neck, back and everywhere else


It would either be that I'm too damn tired to talk about anything or am I just stalling.
Or could it be I put too much pressure on myself to even think that the following words/sentences are even substantial.

Dear Aftercall,
Lately I've been too annoyed and irritated. And no this ain't about a goddamn PMS.
I've been too tired. Too lazy. Too bored. Too ME. A lot of things have been going on in my mind. I can't even sleep right.
If you ask about my family, I'm really not in the mood to talk about them right now. Well, since I did bring it up I might as well say it. Right?
My good-for-nothing brother has been using the internet connection, I'VE been paying for, too much. I know it sounds as if I'm too damn selfish and too disrespectful.
But hey, I don't want to force myself into respecting and even tolerating a bum. Someone older than me who doesn't even know how to wash his own dishes nor clothes.
I admit I don't wash mine too, we have someone else to do that for us. Anyway, he doesn't have a job. Asks for material things that he thinks are easy to get. Lets everyone at school know how selfish I was for not lending him my DvD player, when in the first place he didn't ask.
Even asks my mom for money every other day to pay for gas for a car that isn't even his (lucky for him I don't have a fuckin' license) just so he can travel around with his lame-ass girlfriend who in a way started a fight with me that I don't even know where it began.
I may be coming in way too deep here, but what I'm saying is why in the world would I give someone the benefit of using hard-earned things when in fact that person's not even worth.
He is of no use to me. He may be my brother of the same mother but the blood isn't thick as how it should be.
Oh how wonderful the household would be without his dark and smelly presence.
This all started when I was left the computer on so I can finish downloading something when he arrived and he turned off the modem, thinking I was already asleep and wasn't even checking my computer.
As soon as he locked himself in his room, I came down and eventually turned off the computer and put away the modem and the other cables.
Now, there was that moment when I woke up a bit earlier and noticed the modem's being used again by that prick, I turned off and then back on the modem, so at least he'd think the line just got disconnected.
Then my mom kept insisting I fix all the cables (they went haywire), I intentionally disconnected the cables and turned everything off, leaving his laptop on.
When he woke up (late as usual), he asked in a loud voice who unplugged the cable. I didn't even bother talking to him nor admitting it was me, I was too busy cleaning my room.
And as expected, my mom (if she really is my mom) confronted me about it. I didn't rebutt or whatever, I know he'd make it look as if it was all my fault. I let it pass through my other ear.
Since then I never bothered to talk about anything at home.
Now, if you suggest that I move someplace else I don't think that would be a good idea since I am paying for the internet here so at least my cousin and our "Ate" who helps us out at home can use it for school and shit.
I'm also paying for our Cable TV connection. And I can't leave my dogs. Perhaps if I've had too much. I might go with that option. As of now, I can still pretty much handle it as what I've been doing for most of 20 years here on a planet they call Earth.

Next, would be people at work. Unexplainable and unexpected feelings for this certain person (I'd rather not say). To be asked as someone to watch over our team while
our team captain's away. Be bugged about the dance practice that seems to be so unorganized and so unprofessional with only a week left to finish everything. And about that, the people I'm supposed to perform with are the same people I was with during our Cheerdance presentation thingy.
And their idea of hip hop street dance competition is a bit too pop-jazzy modern. To mistake Tutting for Krumping? First off, I respect people who know their craft but to INSIST that one knows about different types of hip-hop I'd say you're WHACK! Not that I personally know and have performed such types, but I am familiar with them and that doesn't mean I've got the right to let people know I know so much shit about it.
Back to the competition, since we've exceeded the maximum numbers of a team they decided we should be split into two. That's actually a great idea so at least whoever wins can still share the cash prize. But to think that we haven't even finished half of an Intro, how the hell can they pull this off? Using the same steps but different music? Isn't that a bit stupid when in fact we haven't even decided yet what mix we'd be using.
I've lost interest in dancing now, it's still my passion but as of the moment I don't think I'm up for dancing. I'm just a bit concerned about some people rooting for me to join in and stuff. I guess I'll be focusing on our Holiday Party production instead. That would be kinda fun.

Add to that being pressured about the games they signed me up for. Vball, Badminton and Dodgeball. Of course all events are scheduled every after shift. So aside from getting headaches from out-of-this-world people, we'd be getting blacks and blues too.
Good thing we won our first Volleyball game, rather than losing by default. Badminton is what I'm most worried about. I know I've won in the past, that makes it more burdensome since greatness is to be expected from me.
I guess it's a good thing my partner in mixed doubles department is kind of sadistic, hurting all of our opponents with smashes. What I'm more worried about here is the female doubles department, the load's all on me.
Crimony!

I'm lovin' all the attention at work, not that I'm actually asking for it, but of course it's flattering. I feel like a celebrity. Ohhh, vanity is a sin.

How befitting is it for the rain to start pouring as how I had poured myself all out here.

Til next update.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Updates

I am so kicking my ass off the floor right now. I've been too damn lazy to even think about anything to post.
So rather than talk about how I'm finding it difficult to write anything, lemme just rant about what I've been seeing on TV nowadays.

First off:

This telenovela that's all about punchlines. I think they're gonna make this one popular just because of those somehow inadequate and out-of-place quips and puns.
Whoever wrote the script should have also added specific locations where some of the lines would definitely fit in.
Not that I'm watching it per episode, I keep hearing most of my colleagues talk about it. Yes, you are right, I am yet again annoyed.

Next is the franchised Filipino version of Bea La Fea. I would've opted for the US version, at least the building and the office didn't look anything at all fake.
Sure they've made it all colorful and stuff but it just seems that the lead dude ain't right for the part. Perhaps sticking to the exact same story line might make it too TH. If you know what I mean.

Btw, I'm gonna leave you with a couple of videos about a presentation we've been practicing on and finally presented for our GM's (General Manager) Cup Opening.
The first one would be our practice performance in progress. (You can try to find me)

Second one is our final performance, I've made some errors, but hey you're not gonna be able to see that since it's a back view only. Hehe.


The games has started. We were first up on the list for the Badminton match. Mixed doubles, women's and men's. We won the Mixed Doubles. Sad to say I goofed off too much when I subbed for the women's division. My bad.
Looking forward for the next game. I'm just somewhat concerned about my partner's principle though. See, even though he's gonna lose, at least he was able to make a mark on the opponent's body (preferrably the face). He makes one hell of a smash.

Til next update.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Lubdub

A sudden realization just hit me. I'm too self absorbed.
No wonder I don't care that much about anything other than myself.
Hohum.

To be utterly at a loss for words and stories to post.
Oh my. Something people (bloggers) would normally fear of.
Writer's block.

There's this certain event in my life that seems to keep playing over and over in my head.
A chance perhaps wasted. All the what-ifs seems to overflow my mind.
To betray a friend for the sake of love. Or to deprive myself of happiness for my friend's sake.
How I wish I could have gracefully died a martyr, but no, I had to live on and be haunted by it for the rest of my life.

Segue here:

Anyone here been involved in a love tri?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Food trip


Got nothing to say for the moment. Let's eat.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

A little bit

It's keeping me alive once more. My passion has caught up with me. I so want to make this right. I know myself too much, about getting all excited about something and in the end it'll blow up in my face.
Which is why, if I'm going to heed this calling I might as well make it right. Don't you think?
That's why I've been sort of practicing. I'm a fan of Kaba Modern, that's why I'm kinda trying to learn from their choreography. Just for the heck of it.

Add to that, a lot of dance contest/challenges are up at our office. I'm picking out people who got the right stuff to fit in the right groove.
I don't want to be so high school about all of this. I must admit, I am getting a bit excited. Since the theme now is like that of Step Up 2 (let's just see how far they go with the theme), I'm pretty sure some of the moves I'm trying to learn will be useful.

Here's a clip of what I'm trying to learn as of the moment. 
Only the first part though 
(When we Oooo by Janet Jackson)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Transparent


With so much stuff going on, one can never figure out what's real and not. What's genuine and fake.
I've been the ever supportive friend. In a way, I've been too much of a sponge. But throughtout those times I've had to listen to the same stories over and over, I never once complained.
Well, not until now. I've never really asked for anything in return. As what I've always said, expectations will result to disappointments. Life is full of it.
Anyway, so this certain person offers me a listening ear. Would I want to burden her with all the drama in my life? Nah.
Getting things off my chest and pouring it all out on her won't change anything.
As you continue on reading this, you'll figure out how cynical I have become from all the things I've been through (which of course is not needed to be listed here.)
A hopeless case? Perhaps. I'm still struggling. It's difficult to be among people you think you're comfortable with but not to the extent that you can trust them fully.
I still have my guard on. I can't stand more lies.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The "Thank You" Girls

"The 'Thank You' Girls" is a Visayan film with a gay lingo twist.
Tired of losing in all the beauty competitions in Davao City, five dysfunctional gay beauty pageant veterans decide to travel north to Cagayan de Oro City, in the island of Mindanao.
Their mission: to conquer the grandest competition of beauty, personality and brains in the whole province.
They believe that being city dwellers, gays in the province will never stand a chance against them.
(courtesy of their official site.)

I saw clips of the movie being shown on a local tv channel and got interested. Unlike most gay indie films, this is relatable to straight and gay people alike, young and old. I was able to watch it with my co-workers on its last day at the movies. I was amazed at how they had shown parts of my hometown (Davao). How inviting the place looked like. Their "roadtrip" adventure to gay beauty pageants had few dull moments. Everyone was in character. Except for that Carlos guy who couldn't speak in fuckin straight Visayan. His Tagalog accent made it awkward to even listen to him. How I wish they would have made him mute instead. *haha*

Still, I did appreciate the movie. The witty lines and certain scenes. Gie Salonga, who's a half-brother/sister of the Lea Salonga, is in the movie. I honestly didn't know anything about him not until my friend told me about his family thing with Lea S. And to think he didn't have any Visayan or what-not blood in him and he could speak the dialect perfectly. (Of course, he had a tutor for that.) Still, he pulled it off quite well.
The lives of the heroines in this movie are shown through the eyes of their beloved jeepney (Char Lang) *really, that's the name of the jeepney*. You can even find some quottable quotes from the lines they throw.

I recommend this movie for those barkadas, families and just plain people-who-know-each-other-as-acquaintances. It's not dangerous for the faint of heart, so you can pretty much enjoy this movie. (Understanding the gay lingo beforehand is a plus as well.)

And for reading this post, I thank you very much.

Giving this movie, 3 stars (out of five of course).

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Splat

Here's my new wallpaper for my Friendster account. :)

Click here to make it larger.
Looking for other tutorials. :)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Out the window


I have simply lost all the respect that there was supposed to be left for our ever scandalous and crackpot government.
Not that I care deeply about our country or whatever, somehow that sense of security is slowly slipping away too.
Ain't it amazing how that ZTE scandal simply vanished into thin air. Wonder if that guy got shot or something.
Oh politics, I was never really great at them.

Anywho, my desire to look for a better job has been put to a
halt. Not because I love my current job ever so much but of the fact that if I'm going to resign now, I'd be missing out on our Christmas cup.
And I'm expected to be present since we're the defending ch
ampions in Badminton mixed doubles division.
This plan of taking on a diferent type of job has been postponed too many times already.
Hayy. Perhaps I won't say anything or plan anything for now, so it won't blow up on my face right away.

Oh, is anyone following the VMA's Challenge for Best Danc
e Crew?
Kaba Modern and Fanny Pak are the top two.
And just recently, Fanny Pak had been announced as the winner.I was soooo rooting for Kaba Modern,
though I didn't exactly find anyt
hing new on their choreo.
But I still love them. Fanny Pak may have one the war but never the battle. (Do I sound like a psycho-fanatic?)

I wasn't entirely interested in watching the most talked about show for the moment.
But then I got bored and rather than watching an hour long movie, I decided to buy a dvd copy.
And yes, I am talking about GG.
A whole lot better than The OC, which has so much friggin drama. Though GG also has its oh-so dramaticans uper alcoholic moments, it comes fashionably with style.
And Chuck is the least handsome yet most interesting character among the whole cast.
Too bad Eric's gay, him and Jenny would have made a cute couple.

I'll be going out tomorrow night with my teammates. Drink til we drop. Dress to kill. I'd prefer Suit to Kill though.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Out loud

When will this bitter-sweet sensation end? All the endless pain and nerve wracking emotions must somehow come to an end. And not one single sentence will suffice what had been done.

You ask if I had been too afflicted of the events that had come to pass. Perhaps a little unexpected and greatly made an impact.


I, for one, had been hurt and is hurting still. Yet amidst all of this I am searching for something else. Something that could, once again hurt me.


I have learned so many things these past few months, although not totally everything that would make me a self-made billionaire. Reflections? I have been doing that ever since I enjoyed lurking around the city by myself.


I have learned that even though a person is alone he's not exactly a loner. And neither is a loner alone. But the contradiction comes through me. I let myself be taken for granted and have made no effort of being intimately involved with anyone (other than romantic concerns). I am not one who greatly expresses herself to anyone. But given the right moment and enough beer, then perhaps I might get a little serious.


Shelled for almost 20 years of my oh so blissful life in one city, with similar faces add to that new people from all walks of life can be pretty... boring.

This loner, yes I do admit I am one, is seeking out to a new world. Begging it to interest her in leaving the spot she's always filled and move in to the other side of the country (since that's what she can only afford).
Move away from people that has always reminded her of matters so screwed up that there's no sense on even thinking about it.

Perhaps I may be going around in circles, and that's what I'm practically good at. But a point has to come out from all of this.

I may have walls put around me, I may have been putting on capricious persona. Who hasn't? Let us not kid ourselves about the fact that in order to get through the day you'd have to not be you for people to understand you.
So in order for me to fully understand and grasp that whole meaning of being humanely sane, I have to get out of here. And get out there (pointing to a certain island on a world map)
I prefer going alone, but hey, feel free to come along. It's going to be one crazy ride.

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Soul

A lost soul had been last seen in an empty street. It was raining that night, the soul did not bring anything to make itself warm. As if losing hope of finding what had been taken from it, the soul continued on.
Going through the same alleys it had been through before.

The memories have made the soul flinch, all the supposed-to-be-forgotten memories had now come back.
The soul thought to itself not to mind the pain for it had long passed.

But then a flash of light shone through.
A black figure is now seen walking forward, as if blocking the luminous light.


"Who are you?" said the soul.

The black figure stopped, face seemed so vague.


"Who are you?" the soul repeated.


"My name is of no importance, I am here to offer you freedom from this loneliness and suffering you are going through.
I will provide you everything that you need. And you shall forget about your past and move on with your life."

"Are you like God or something?"


"There is no need for you to know about my being. All this I offer, of course will come with a price."


"I'm not interested." The soul said, walking past the light.

"Salvation will always come with a price."


"I said, I'm not interested."


And so the black figure disappeared not before saying, "Very well then, I shall meet with you again soon."


It saw a diner up ahead, an empty diner.
The lady at the counter stared at the pale looking figure who seemed to be confused.
It occupied the seat at the corner that looked through the glass window. It saw different figures with different glows on their chest passing by. Salvation, as what the figure had said, had been offered to it.
The risk of taking on such an unusual but tempting offer.
But what is there to be afraid of?
Pain is inevitable and the soul had always survived.


Will you try to reason out to yourself?


The soul had been in a trance, as if in deep thought.

Just then, a bright yellow glow came toward it's table.

"Are you alone?"

Without looking at the figure, the soul answered "I always have..."


Just then, the alarm went off. 5:20am. I need to get ready. Off to work.

Friday, August 29, 2008

WALL-E


What if mankind had to leave Earth, and somebody forgot to turn the last robot off?

Academy Award®-winning writer-director Andrew Stanton (“Finding Nemo”) and the inventive storytellers and technical geniuses at Pixar Animation Studios (“The Incredibles,” “Cars,” “Ratatouille”) transport moviegoers to a galaxy not so very far away for a new computer-animated cosmic comedy about a determined robot named WALL•E.

After hundreds of lonely years of doing what he was built for, WALL•E (short for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class) discovers a new purpose in life (besides collecting knick-knacks) when he meets a sleek search robot named EVE. EVE comes to realize that WALL•E has inadvertently stumbled upon the key to the planet’s future, and races back to space to report her findings to the humans (who have been eagerly awaiting word that it is safe to return home). Meanwhile, WALL•E chases EVE across the galaxy and sets into motion one of the most exciting and imaginative comedy adventures ever brought to the big screen.

Joining WALL•E on his fantastic journey across a universe of never-before-imagined visions of the future, is a hilarious cast of characters including a pet cockroach, and a heroic team of malfunctioning misfit robots. (courtesy of Rotten Tomatoes)


Okay, so this is somehow an outdated post about the movie. I watched Wall-E along with friends from work weeks ago. I've been looking forward to watching the movie since I'm kind of a big fan of animated movies. Well, for some of them though. This is indeed another Pixar masterpiece. Very well done, creating a 3D-2D effect that appeals both to the young and old.

To be able to convey a message that even kids could understand without any dialogue for most parts. And isn't Wall-E just so darn adorable? The way he calls EVE as "Ev-a" is kind of funny too. To think that we'd all turn to blobs in the future because we were brought up to depend on what we think we are abundant of.

Of love from the heart and care for the world. One of those movies, you'd want to see with your friends and family.

Giving this movie, 4 stars.

-------------------

Perfect Attendance. Just 3 more days and I'll be able to complete a month without any absence. Of course there's an incentive for this.


This was supposed to be a team PA (Perfect Attendance), then it was down to only the 4 of us. Isn't it just sad to work with someone so inconsiderate? With no sense of responsibility, none whatsoever.

Then there's that newbie who just makes my eyes flinch, eyebrows glued together and my face 30 years older. I might be being a little unfair but the way she asks me technical questions is just damn annoying. To top it all off, she's sitting next beside me which I'm not quite comfortable with.

Or maybe it's just this damn headache that's really bothering me.

I guess I need to get some sleep.

Zzzzzz

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hey another award!

Got this one from Iceah ^_^. Tenkyu beri mats! The rules of the award are:
1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs of the people you’ve nominated

Here are my awardees: Tina, Catherine, Adobobo, Livern, Karla, Galleria Neri, and Erika.
I mostly based this on content and whatever else that comes with it. :)

Another tag from Nanay Belen. Thanks for this one too. :)
I do treasure friendship a lot. Not many people realize this because of my introvert personality and being ever so unpredictable. But hey, I give love in my own little way. We need friends for many reasons,all throughout the season.

We need friends to comfort us when we are sad,and to have fun with us when we are glad.

We need friends to give us good advice.

We need someone we can count on,and treat us nice.

We need friends to remember us one we have passed sharing memories that will always last.

I'm giving this same tag to the people I've already nominated up above. :)


Here's a top view pic of my hair. It was a good thing my friend took this, otherwise I wouldn't have noticed that the color of my hair's looking a bit good once light shines on it. :)
You wanna know where I boxed myself into?
It's in a hospital where my friend had stayed for a couple of nights. We were all goofing around even though there was a needle stuck on her hand. She took this one here. I fit perfectly fine in this cabinet. Hehe. The Grudge?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Back to School


geek squad correspondent
we missed the bus

From our Back to School theme at work. We had fun acting like kids. Good thing for me, I look like one too. And no, I didn't dye my hair here yet. I'll post it perhaps the day after tomorrow. :)

I'm thinking about quitting my job and taking on a different direction in my career. It's not exactly about the money or what-not. I'm a bit tired of doing the same thing over and over anyway. The way we are pressured may have been changing a lot, but we talk to the same people anyway. And that job that I'm interested on taking is web/ads designer. It's still in line with what I've wasted my time for the past 4 years anyway.

Til next update.

Here's our next team ID. ^_^

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Brillante Weblog Premio-2008


Thanks Pinay Chicken Heart for this award.
At least I can now post about something aside from my daily ramblings about my inner inhibition.

The rules for this award are as follows:

1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

And therefore, I am giving this award to MeL, Melandia, Tina, Lunes, Vicky, Ate Xy, and Vannie.

Updates:

Had my hair dyed burgundy.
Finally got my company shirt, I made it through 13 rough months.
I'm confused with what I'm feeling right now for this skema at work.
I'm very disappointed with this colleague of ours who's not even considerate enough to come to work early so she won't be late. Now she's done it and our team's not qualified for the PA(Perfect Attendance) incentive. Damn it!
I don't like being treated like a kid, a baby, nor do I want anyone mocking me about how I want them to treat me like an adult.

Just because I look younger, doesn't mean my mental capacity is the same.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Numb


It's one of those days that somehow makes me think about what I'm missing in my life.
This is, again, another never-ending rant about how I'm basically spinning and talking in circles. Now isn't that toooooo redundant?

Someone once asked my if writing was my passion. I told her that it was my second. Dancing would be my first. But I don't believe I've proven myself worthy enough to be even called a "good" performer. Now let's not talk about me dancing, that would be like watching a monkey walk upright across a hall.

Writing, writing.
I do know how to construct sentences. I just never know when to end them, aside from putting a dot at the very end. I have learned how to express myself through words I cannot imagine myself saying to someone in person. I'm just floating through the words building up inside my head, hoping for a conclusion.

Come to think of it, I'm not exactly sure about what I'm passionate about now. And I guess it would be too much a narcissist if I'd say I'm passionate about myself looking good.
What do I really want? What am I good at?

I can think of something I'm capable of doing but that's just it. Doesn't exactly mean I'm good at it. Maybe I haven't figured out yet what I want. I can only think of what's interesting to me at this moment. And that is dancing. Literary arts will stay otherwise.

And why numb?
I'm talking about the title. That would be because I'm almost wearing myself out every friggin day, feeling nothing but how things got fast and days slowly turning to nights. Although I can still tell the difference between hot and cold. But I don't think I'm making the most out of what I have now even about what I'm doing.

Maybe it's because even though I work my ass off and have instant fast heart beats whenever I see someone pretty on the floor, I still feel nothing beyond that.

Can you say I'm numb?

Saturday, August 2, 2008

The Stop


What is life without purpose?
Without doubt nor fears.

What is life without hope?

Only an ocean filled with tears.


And what is hope without faith?

A mere illusion for the sake of sanity.

This is not about love that's lost,
I'm merely talking about me.

Time is starting to stand still, as I sit here waiting.
Waiting for an answer that I believe is already in front of me but I'm just too damn stubborn to see.
I have occupied my mind with thoughts about what I'm doing being the right thing to be.
What has become of me?

I am no more than but a stray along lonely streets.
This is not even near breakdown, nor hitting rock bottom. But another slap in the face about how my life really is and what I'm trying to ignore. Will this desperate cry for help be heard? When and who will ever listen.

The story goes on...

Friday, July 25, 2008

The Badge

Hey, whaddya know. I won again. I want to thank those who have voted for me. haw tatsing!

Writing about how that one person can make you feel extraordinary had somehow overwhelmed my blog here. Well, truth be told, I haven't exactly written anything like that before. Me thinks it was purely out of pressure yet of pleasure. Anywho, I won first place. And again I want to give thanks for those who supported me, *insert dramatic background music, with someone handing me a Golden Globe-look-alike award* God, my family and my friends. Lol. Hey, anyone out there interested in just writing about stuff and getting a badge for it, feel free to join in Mr. Talksmart's Blog Awards Challenge. ^_^

Thursday, July 24, 2008

It goes like this.

Imagine this:

You've been with this person for over 2 years, you feel like something has changed but that person hasn't.
Then comes in this badass but not bad-looking 3rd wheeler who's been hitting on the girl.
note: she'd been telling me stories about how she got cheated on by her first boyfie and was never taken seriously before.
It had lasted for months, all the flirting and stuff like that. Then with a snap, the girl breaks up with the boyfie on his birthday.
Hooking up with that no-good 3rd wheeler. And so after weeks of spending eekie PDA moments together, she's realized that a lot of people had noticed the big change and "WHY IN THE WORLD IS SHE GOING OUT WITH THAT JERK" buzz is going around already.
Now she's thinking about going back to her ex because their personalities (with that jerk) seem to clash and basically don't mesh well.
The fire's starting to fade out.
And so this ex of hers is actually one of those guys you see on TV. The typical too-good-to-be-true boyfriends. Never cheated and very dedicated. (Hey, they actually exist!)
I just feel so bad for the guy that he's been messed around with but of course, I'm not one to judge a person.
Then her ex starts asking me about how I can help him get them back together (she's making him wait).
Well, I liked the idea at first, but then he started saying something about giving me stuff in return. I was like, what the f*ck. I'd be more than happy to help but not because of bribery. It feels so, so bad. (No other words to put it.)

Now, the point comes to this. I do understand that things had gone and passed already but to be cheated on and to do the exact same thing to another person who's been friggin honest with is not enough reason to start playing around.

And I also understand that there really are some certain circumstances that you can't handle and things start falling into place, but still, if you're going to back yourself up with a reason that it's been done to you first, then that's plain bullcrap.

Whatchathink?

Or maybe I'm started to get annoyed with the girl acting all kooky and macho about things, or maybe my old self's coming back. (Ohhh.)

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Tags

Finally, I've gotten over my laziness in posting something new.
So I thank those who had tagged me, they gave me enough reason to at least something new here.


Been tagged by
Melandia. My psycho-funny friend. Who made me manually type it since I can't friggin copy it off from her blog.

So here are the rules and the 10 random things about myself.

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to
leave them a comment ("You're it") and ask them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you.

1. I don't like Mayo.
2. I was born to dance hiphop.

3. I like the music loud and the tv on whenever I study or doing something important.
4. Me and my friend (Joy) are going to be the future owners of Pearl Farm Beach Resort in
Samal.
5. I've been selling ice cream cakes for my friend without profit.
6. I'm currently looking for Kaba Modern's apparel.

7. Is my favorite number.

8. I love blueberry cheesecake flavored ice cr
eam.
9. I think most Filipino movies are crap.

10. I want to have my own column in a national
newspaper someday, not the obituaries nor classifieds of course.

I'm tagging
Pretty Me, Tina, Vannie, Bl
og Gurl, Caffeinated Muse, Erika, Fao, Eyebags, Vicky, and Ikay.

<--->

Here's another tag, from Pretty Me. I lurve 7.
Here are the rules:
A. List these rules on your blog.

B. Share 7 facts about your
self on your blog.
C. Tag 7 people at the end
of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

1. I love the number 7.
2. I am an impatient person.

3. I like to be nice to people if I feel like it.

4. I have never finished a story that I make.

5. I know how to play the drums.

6. I like to keep to myself things I ought to say.

7. It takes about a month before I get over a certain infatuation.

You’ll have to read on for my 7 facts and see who I tagged.


Melandia, Tina, Goodbye Heartbreak, Livern, Nanay Belen, Sheng and Kheycee.

<--->

Thank you
Sheng, for this award. I'm not exactly sure how one would describe a mad blogger, but hey I guess that's me. Got an award to prove it too. Haha.
I can only think of Tina Vannie Melandia and MeL to give this award to. :)

<--->

Updates:

I'm not attending school anymore. I mainly lost my interest in studying at that certain school. My colleagues are telling me to try this other school though, and I'm kind of thinking about transferring over there and get serious about my new choice of course. Whatchathink?

Friday, July 11, 2008

Over Her Dead Body


Kate (Eva Longoria Parker) and Henry (Paul Rudd) are about to be married, but on the day of their wedding, Kate is accidentally killed by an ice sculpture of an angel, after an argument with the sculptor about the lack of wings. After a year Henry reluctantly agrees to consult a psychic named Ashley (Lake Bell) at the urging of his sister Chloe, arguing that Kate may tell him to get on with his life. Chloe gives Ashley Kate's diary, so that Ashley learns information about Kate which seemingly demonstrates psychic abilities. Despite his initial skepticism over these abilities, Henry is impressed. Moreover, Henry and Ashley fall in love. However, Kate's ghost, who only Ashley can see, is jealous and harasses Ashley to force her to break up with Henry. Ashley persists, but Henry discovers the fraud with the diary and breaks up the relationship.

The ghost of the sculptor who created the angel that killed Kate helps her decide that she wants Henry to be happy after all. The movie ends with Henry and Ashley getting married and Kate going back to heaven.

An extra storyline is about Ashley's assistant Dan (Jason Biggs) who has claimed for years to be gay, allowing him to be Ashley's best friend without sexual connotations. She is upset when Dan confesses to be heterosexual, and to have lied to her because he liked the intimacy, even though it was non-sexual. Nevertheless they go on holiday together after Ashley and Henry break up. Being in love with her, Dan is disappointed that Ashley chooses for Henry. However, Dan and Chloe fall in love.

Courtesy of Wikipedia.

Browsing through a sea of DVD copies. I looked past this movie since it didn't exactly seem that interesting to me. My friend, who was with me at that time kept insisting that I buy a copy of this because the trailer she saw was funny (to her, that is).
So I didn't give in that easy. Only to find out weeks after that, my co-worker had a copy of it too. So I thought, "Hey, why not borrow one and watch it. If it's gonna suck at least it didn't cost you anything, except for time and the effort of borrowing it."
And so I watched it with my friend who happened to be the one bugging me about it. It was an OK type of film. Not that funny and not too corny. Jason Biggs was his normal loser-type-bumbling-kind-of-way. Paul Rudd was charming as usual, although he kinda looked stupid in some scenes (aside from the ones where he's supposed to look stupid). Eva Longoria-Parker fit her role to a T, and might I say she made me laugh. Lake Bell has some pretty angles, although it was as if it was her film debut. Well, to be honest, since this is in fact a movie review. I think they could have casted someone else aside from Lake Bell. I didn't find her attractive in any way, nor was her acting skills impressive (which is totally quite the contrary).
Anyway, this isn't exactly the type of film where you laugh your heads off most of the time. Makes you giggle though. :)

Giving this movie 3 stars.

---------------------->

I've been having my hair cut shorter and shorter for the past 3 weeks now. And I don't know why. Me thinks I'm getting ripped off from the salon that I've been going to. Me thinks I'm wasting money on my hair. Me thinks I look good with my new cut. Me thinks all is good.

I'm totally inspired by Kaba Modern's performances. Oh how I wish I was back on the dance floor.