It would either be that I'm too damn tired to talk about anything or am I just stalling.
Or could it be I put too much pressure on myself to even think that the following words/sentences are even substantial.
Lately I've been too annoyed and irritated. And no this ain't about a goddamn PMS.
I've been too tired. Too lazy. Too bored. Too ME. A lot of things have been going on in my mind. I can't even sleep right.
If you ask about my family, I'm really not in the mood to talk about them right now. Well, since I did bring it up I might as well say it. Right?
My good-for-nothing brother has been using the internet connection, I'VE been paying for, too much. I know it sounds as if I'm too damn selfish and too disrespectful.
But hey, I don't want to force myself into respecting and even tolerating a bum. Someone older than me who doesn't even know how to wash his own dishes nor clothes.
I admit I don't wash mine too, we have someone else to do that for us. Anyway, he doesn't have a job. Asks for material things that he thinks are easy to get. Lets everyone at school know how selfish I was for not lending him my DvD player, when in the first place he didn't ask.
Even asks my mom for money every other day to pay for gas for a car that isn't even his (lucky for him I don't have a fuckin' license) just so he can travel around with his lame-ass girlfriend who in a way started a fight with me that I don't even know where it began.
I may be coming in way too deep here, but what I'm saying is why in the world would I give someone the benefit of using hard-earned things when in fact that person's not even worth.
He is of no use to me. He may be my brother of the same mother but the blood isn't thick as how it should be.
Oh how wonderful the household would be without his dark and smelly presence.
This all started when I was left the computer on so I can finish downloading something when he arrived and he turned off the modem, thinking I was already asleep and wasn't even checking my computer.
As soon as he locked himself in his room, I came down and eventually turned off the computer and put away the modem and the other cables.
Now, there was that moment when I woke up a bit earlier and noticed the modem's being used again by that prick, I turned off and then back on the modem, so at least he'd think the line just got disconnected.
Then my mom kept insisting I fix all the cables (they went haywire), I intentionally disconnected the cables and turned everything off, leaving his laptop on.
When he woke up (late as usual), he asked in a loud voice who unplugged the cable. I didn't even bother talking to him nor admitting it was me, I was too busy cleaning my room.
And as expected, my mom (if she really is my mom) confronted me about it. I didn't rebutt or whatever, I know he'd make it look as if it was all my fault. I let it pass through my other ear.
Since then I never bothered to talk about anything at home.
Now, if you suggest that I move someplace else I don't think that would be a good idea since I am paying for the internet here so at least my cousin and our "Ate" who helps us out at home can use it for school and shit.
I'm also paying for our Cable TV connection. And I can't leave my dogs. Perhaps if I've had too much. I might go with that option. As of now, I can still pretty much handle it as what I've been doing for most of 20 years here on a planet they call Earth.
Next, would be people at work. Unexplainable and unexpected feelings for this certain person (I'd rather not say). To be asked as someone to watch over our team while
our team captain's away. Be bugged about the dance practice that seems to be so unorganized and so unprofessional with only a week left to finish everything. And about that, the people I'm supposed to perform with are the same people I was with during our Cheerdance presentation thingy.
And their idea of hip hop street dance competition is a bit too pop-jazzy modern. To mistake Tutting for Krumping? First off, I respect people who know their craft but to INSIST that one knows about different types of hip-hop I'd say you're WHACK! Not that I personally know and have performed such types, but I am familiar with them and that doesn't mean I've got the right to let people know I know so much shit about it.
Back to the competition, since we've exceeded the maximum numbers of a team they decided we should be split into two. That's actually a great idea so at least whoever wins can still share the cash prize. But to think that we haven't even finished half of an Intro, how the hell can they pull this off? Using the same steps but different music? Isn't that a bit stupid when in fact we haven't even decided yet what mix we'd be using.
I've lost interest in dancing now, it's still my passion but as of the moment I don't think I'm up for dancing. I'm just a bit concerned about some people rooting for me to join in and stuff. I guess I'll be focusing on our Holiday Party production instead. That would be kinda fun.
Add to that being pressured about the games they signed me up for. Vball, Badminton and Dodgeball. Of course all events are scheduled every after shift. So aside from getting headaches from out-of-this-world people, we'd be getting blacks and blues too.
Good thing we won our first Volleyball game, rather than losing by default. Badminton is what I'm most worried about. I know I've won in the past, that makes it more burdensome since greatness is to be expected from me.
I guess it's a good thing my partner in mixed doubles department is kind of sadistic, hurting all of our opponents with smashes. What I'm more worried about here is the female doubles department, the load's all on me.
I'm lovin' all the attention at work, not that I'm actually asking for it, but of course it's flattering. I feel like a celebrity. Ohhh, vanity is a sin.
How befitting is it for the rain to start pouring as how I had poured myself all out here.
Til next update.