S.O.S

This is my shameless confession of losing faith. I am at the point of being scared.
Scared that I might stray away from my religion. I am in need of spiritual guidance.
But my being stubborn is stopping me from letting wisdom in.

A lot of people has been trying to reach out and share what they know and their experiences.
I've been invited to many fellowships. Although, I inform them up ahead that accepting their invitation won't be a sign nor a promise of commitment.
But I've never been really that comfortable dealing with people talking about God that's not in line with the Catholic Church.
At the back of my mind, I feel that people from these fellowships seem to be claiming something else.
No, I'm not stating that the Catholic Church has the only true path towards God and His Kingdom.
I'm just saying that a lot of these groups have been sprouting everywhere. So my belief is faltering.
That would also explain why I can't put my heart into prayers.

Perhaps I've been too discriminating. Perhaps I'm not as open as what I would want myself to believe.

So you ask when my faith had started to waver.
It was at a certain class. We were asked to prepare a provocative speech.
Mine was all about believing in God even though He is not physically present.
I had classmates who were very religious in that same class but they had nill on me.
I think they got too overwhelmed by the fact that I dared to challenge their own beliefs that in their defense, it failed to back up their knowledge about their religion.
Add to that I was one of the two people in class who won the challenge.
I had no intention of being serious about what I had prepare on the spot, but it dragged on til today.

As you can tell, I still acknowledge the fact that there is a higher power.
It may just be perhaps that I've watched too many movies, read too many books and heard too many incovenient truths that whatever had been taught and instilled in me, never really got through.

I find myself helpless that I can't seem to push aside another part of me insisting that I don't need to reestablish my faith in God.
I sense that something is about to go real wrong and I might be put to the test, something I could drown into. Losing myself.
That's why I want to take action. Thus the post about a call for help.

Help.