Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Numb


It's one of those days that somehow makes me think about what I'm missing in my life.
This is, again, another never-ending rant about how I'm basically spinning and talking in circles. Now isn't that toooooo redundant?

Someone once asked my if writing was my passion. I told her that it was my second. Dancing would be my first. But I don't believe I've proven myself worthy enough to be even called a "good" performer. Now let's not talk about me dancing, that would be like watching a monkey walk upright across a hall.

Writing, writing.
I do know how to construct sentences. I just never know when to end them, aside from putting a dot at the very end. I have learned how to express myself through words I cannot imagine myself saying to someone in person. I'm just floating through the words building up inside my head, hoping for a conclusion.

Come to think of it, I'm not exactly sure about what I'm passionate about now. And I guess it would be too much a narcissist if I'd say I'm passionate about myself looking good.
What do I really want? What am I good at?

I can think of something I'm capable of doing but that's just it. Doesn't exactly mean I'm good at it. Maybe I haven't figured out yet what I want. I can only think of what's interesting to me at this moment. And that is dancing. Literary arts will stay otherwise.

And why numb?
I'm talking about the title. That would be because I'm almost wearing myself out every friggin day, feeling nothing but how things got fast and days slowly turning to nights. Although I can still tell the difference between hot and cold. But I don't think I'm making the most out of what I have now even about what I'm doing.

Maybe it's because even though I work my ass off and have instant fast heart beats whenever I see someone pretty on the floor, I still feel nothing beyond that.

Can you say I'm numb?

3 comments:

Ishna Probinsyana said...

i've had those 'one of those days' moments. and really sucks, it makes me feel worthless and really down. :|

Let's just hope that someday, maybe, hopefully someday, we'll all figure out what we really want and where are we really good at!

you're not numb! ;)

bitchvarsity said...

LOL you may be, but what's important is that you CHOSE to be. =)

tina said...

you are a good performer. kaw diod. idol tika sa sayaw. weee :P

there are times when we feel we dont know what we really want in life... *sigh* makita ra na nimo... one of these days..